According to research analysts, every tenth during isolation, ruined relationships with children and every fifth with parents. The survey showed that about a fifth of the respondents during the quarantine restrictions in the family environment deteriorated in principle.
Showing the numbers shrink, “MK” learned, who often provokes quarrels and how to avoid them.
Assessing how a change in their relationship with the family for 4 months of home treatment, the respondents showed the following results.
Relationship with their spouses. Improved 6%. Remained unchanged at 76%. Worsened in 18%.
Relations with children. Worsened in 10%, improved in 13%.
Relationship with his parents. Worsened 5% improved 19%.
According to family psychologists, insulation in the four walls with the close people is the best catalyst of good relations.
Judging by my practice in the period of self-isolation, bad, strained relationship in the family quarantine completely destroyed, and healthy, strong, on the contrary, even improved, says psychologist practices Elena Pigolkina. – Confinement in the four walls opened all the pitfalls, not only in relationships but also in ourselves. The conflict, which was easy to close or pull on the brakes, spending most of their time outdoors, in the privacy proved fatal. Not by chance, the defenders in this period noted a sharp jump in the number of cases of domestic violence, and the Association of psychologists has developed theses extra online help to those who communicate their suicidal intentions. By the way, 4 months of isolation these thoughts occurred in people more often. The wave of depression was observed among teenagers, many of them have explained their distress that “relatives are being strangled”, “get it completely” – in the sense that the constant presence of parents at home does not give them quietly go about their business.
– Isolation checked out the fortress not only our relationship, but ourselves, identifying character qualities and characteristics of temperament that define behavior in terms of “community”. How (in what form, how often, how, tone, etc.) the individual interacts with family mini-society (the household) depends on his psycho. For example, extroverts (the active, outdoor type of individual, draws energy from the exchange of emotions and information with others) often are the initiators of communication, often (and often unwittingly) violating the personal boundaries of other households. A pronounced introverts (personality type, immersed in his inner world) to such an invasion, if they are repeated often react very painful and often provide a sharp rebuke for those of the extravert who “just wanted to know, how are you?”
As practice shows, the conflict on a “trespass” on the isolation most often aboutcame between parents and children of all ages – as between a young energetic mother and older children and between the mother and grandmother, dad and grandfather.
If an elderly parents live separately, a quarrel between them and younger family members often broke out in connection with the lack of attention (in the opinion of older family members) and because of “selfishness” (as characterized by younger members of the family behavior elderly parents, who were eager to get on the air, demanded the children in, despite the ban, etc.).
as for the couple, that is demonstrative of love and understanding. The unions of those from whom they were, for the time of isolation became stronger. And those that held the “teeth”, collapsed completely. However, sometimes it’s for the best. Maybe those 18% who indicated deterioration of relations with his half, is now able to start a new life and meet his man. And quarreling with children and parents will reconcile as soon as will see less. As they say, big is seen at a distance.
As a whole family counselors collectively came to the conclusion that with the least amount of conflicts the isolation suffered by the people self-sufficient. The more people believe in their personal and professional qualities, the clearer its moral and spiritual principles and the wider the range of his knowledge and interests, the more easy it is to change the external aspects of his life – moving, changes, transition to the remote and back, etc.
to See how self-sufficient you can passing a simple test:
1. You came to a new job in a strange team. In the first lunch break you:
A) Ask new colleagues to take you with me to the dining room.
B) will be Released in a nearby cafe. If someone wants to join you, will be happy. And if not, no big deal.
C) will Remain at the computer. It is necessary to understand the business, and this is embarrassing…
2. You have been given an important mission and the opportunity to choose where and how you’ll do:
A) At his usual work place with the ability to attract colleagues.
B) At work, but in a separate room where no one without an invitation will not be included.
3. A friend (friend, colleague, parents, etc.) stuck to you with advice. You:
A) get Annoyed.
C) Thinking how to bring the Board to life.
4. Over the holidays you gained 10 lbs. In the office only lazy didn’t comment: Your reaction:
A) What inconsiderate people! What is their cause!
B) Yes, the way it is, so what? How to lose weight, also everyone will notice.
C) Life is over, me all laugh and despise!
the more often you choose answer B, the more you self-sufficiency – that is, be easy and without conflict to adapt to any new reality.