after a few weeks of the Corona-crisis, the Home Office has become for many the family conflict zone: Both partners are stressed, the children annoyed. The company is struggling for the existence, calls, therefore, constantly more. Those who do not respect now on, hold on not for long. In a crisis you may say no out of self-protection. So stay strong in the crisis. About the experts
Attila Albert, author and certified Coach trained at the Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC) in Los Angeles and Chicago, and offers Workshops around the topic of career and communication. He published now his latest book “I do: How do you separates you and the other makes you suffer”.
from what’s stressing us, the Corona-crisis so much?
We are not suddenly faced with a flood of problems all our own. The Partner sits constantly tense with at home. The children are bored and frustrated. The company has business Worries. The elderly neighbor is afraid to go to the supermarket. The Situation in the country and elsewhere. Life is too much!
How to deal with it? The crisis is real.
you Care first for your things: your health, your income, your budget, so you left in spite of everything, thinking and stay positive. Is it otherwise aware of. You don’t have to be for everything and everyone, not even all to follow, and concerns. If you don’t manage to overwhelm them emotionally.
this Is within a family even possible?
Yes, and even necessary. Each carries a certain responsibility for themselves, of course, depending on role and age. If, however, your Partner shifts, for example, constantly challenges you, right from the Balance and not Take more. Likewise, you don’t need to entertain their kids. They also give you tasks to relieve themselves. Book recommendation (display)
“no more do I: How do you separates you and the other makes you suffer” by Attila Albert
To the book at Amazon
Why is it important to think well in a crisis first?
in order for you To keep! The Corona-crisis may persist for many weeks, maybe even months. Only if you remain in the longer term, you can help yourself and others. This is no different than the emergency instructions on the plane: first Put on yourself the oxygen mask before they come to the aid of. This is better for all. < / h3> Reported corona virus cases in Germany (click on your state)
it’s not totally selfish to think first of themselves?
It is only reasonable! You show a sense of responsibility, if you divide your forces. Don’t be intimidated or moral blackmail (“Just now You let me down!”, “You think only of yourself!”). Please help if you can – but voluntarily and according to their resources.
What is the first step to differentiate?
That pay attention to themselves: For their own recovery financial and other assistance to be worried, only if you can afford it. You get used to it, not to say regularly, no. You can practice some answers in advance: “I don’t want”, “That’s not like me”. You don’t have to justify!
Why is it so hard to set boundaries?
The reasons are different. Particularly common is The fear of saying no, and thus accusations good books are: (“How can You be so selfish?!”). The acquired Belief that their own wishes and needs are less important and to get the fear of ingratitude or a lack of compassion under. All the important messages to the Coronavirus in the FOCUS Online Newsletter. Subscribe now.
What errors are most prevalent? to respond
To complaints or grievances of other immediately with tips or offers of help: “Give, I’ll do the same for You!”, “You could also…”. In order for you to accustom with others, to delegate the responsibility to you. Also common: a Lack of clarity from conflict, fear or the false hope that the other changes alone.
What is necessary in order to delineate?
in Most cases, a friendly, but clear call, especially to parents, colleagues, partners, children. The can be Ask like: “I need a bit of time for me. I’m two hours alone in the bedroom.” But also: “I can’t chat non-stop on WhatsApp with You. Please don’t do that, otherwise I have to block You.”
How do I overcome a chronic helper syndrome?
ask you first what you has To for his own plans to solve his Problem. So you know how serious it is self-active, allow him to make mistakes and to learn. Limit your offers of help on principle (“I support You, but only this month”) and do not be Shy to stop again.
I am, if I have compassion?
pity is not a Basis for healthy relationships. Who needs only your help can never be a true Partner or friend. Now, in the crisis, you should decide pragmatically in the individual case. Example: your hairdresser has financial Worries, and sorry. You could buy a voucher for the next visit, to assist you.
What to do if the responsibility was distributed very unevenly?
you can always renegotiate – also, if you have done something the past ten years in a certain way. Example, Home Office: from Trade obligations (for example, daily cooking, shopping, childcare in addition to working) so, as you would pull together. Best to write down and visible for all to hang.
How do I handle it when I see emotional neediness?
It is good to cheer up others or them to listen. But do not get multiple phone calls a day, or conspiracy theories in the Facebook-Chat impose. You talk about personal Worries and Fears, best to call. But you say just as clearly, if it is too much for them. If necessary, the call end the call and block it. #Corona Care: Germany helps – FOCUS Online
- On our interactive map of Germany showing which organizations in your area offer help.
- We cooperate with Germany’s largest social network for neighbors: nebenan.de. Here, everyone can offer help or a form to ask for help – for yourself or about the grandma.
- In our #corona care-Facebook-group have formed a network of more than 11,000 people. You post offers of help or requests.
- Under the E-Mail address deutschland-hilft-sich@focus.de help seekers get personal advice.
- anyone Who wants to hang slips of paper with the request for help or offers of help, will find templates to Download.
- We are looking for the stories that make, now, courage! Of small, brilliant ideas and people with big heart.
- We organize actions against the Corona-Koller: fitness coach Detlef D! Soost presented each day, a Workout, editors read them exciting stories …
I don’t have to have a guilty Conscience, who do I help?
no! You realize that you don’t help others sometimes, the most by helping them. Especially when you see that someone always comes back with the same Problem to you. Example: The friend who wants to tell you constantly, always a new set of Worries. Only the one who overcomes crises of itself, is wiser and stronger.
How do I get rid of the exhaustion again?
you is already a sign that you overload yourself! They care more for themselves, as well as it is: Enough sleep and rest, healthy diet, some exercise in the house or outside. Follow the news, but it is not constantly only the Corona theme. You then dedicate your own life.
From whom I cannot delineate all of me?
Of people who are objectively in need of help, such as small children or sick relatives. Here, the delimitation is that you pay attention nevertheless, to your needs: Sufficient time for rest and your own life by the support of other searches (for example, Nanny, neighbor, nursing service). You don’t have to solve everything alone!
What to do if I want to do something for others?
you volunteer, for example, in a club, the Church or help in the neighborhood. Millions do it every day. You can’t tell, there is a wave of selfishness! Your professional or personal relationships are in the long term, but in the wrong place. Here should be Give and Take in balance.
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