I haven’t never met parents who wanted their children to be happy. But parents often have a wrong idea of how they can help their children to be happy. Decades of research show that what promotes happiness.
the results of this important research, briefly summarize: happiness has three components, or “flavors,” namely pleasure, Engagement and meaning.
pleasure is the kind of luck that allow for many parents to their children. Pleasure refers to the preferences and the satisfaction of needs and we are experiencing it, for example, by delicious food, fun experiences and beautiful things. We are looking for summer camp for our children, like our children, cook, what are like our children, organize parties, like our children, and the like. About the author
Erica Reischer psycho login, author, parent consultant and Coach, and writes for the New York Times, The Washington Post, and Psychology Today. Your concerns: insights from psychology and behavioural Economics easily understandable in order to support people in leadership roles – be it parents, teachers or managers. Reischer lives in Oakland, California. Here you can read an excerpt from her book, “What parents of great kids make right”.
for a long time that our children can convey that happiness means that we feel good, have fun and get what we want. Pleasure and the satisfaction of needs give us a temporary feeling of happiness.
If we want our children to have the Chance to lead a happy and fulfilling life, then we must teach you, that you have to what you want to do, so your preferences, matching with what is important, good, and important. The research shows that the basis for long-term happiness consists of the other two components, namely, commitment and importance . Exciting, but just no time?
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commitment describes the creative Use of our abilities to cope with challenges. These activities often lead to what is called Flow, a state of complete absorption in an activity. Music and sports are good examples of commitment. But we experience it also in activities that challenge us, of which we are recognized, because they offer us challenges that inspire us.
activities that foster the most Engagement, not always fun and not always pleasant, at least when we start. Like Learning to play an instrument or programming a computer is a complex activity that requires a lot of Practice and perseverance.
importance is also often called “Serve”. It means that we use our ability to serve the common good. When we strive for significance, we then focus on activities that influence and determination that go beyond our own goals and needs. Care and compassion are the basis of everything, the meaning. What does this mean?
Engagement and meaning make us happier and more satisfied with our lives than pleasure and meaning also makes the lives of other people better. Commitment and importance of the habits of Happiness are. Book recommendation (display)
“What are parents of wonderful children, to make right” (Trias-Verlag, 14,99 euros)
about The book
another happiness habit gratitude . Gratitude means that we see all that is Good in our lives, whatever it is. To practice gratitude reduces anxiety, nervousness and depression, and improves our physical, mental and emotional health. (…)
A fourth important happiness habit is often overlooked: Sport . Sport and movement is a physical activity with countless benefits for mental health.
people who exercise are not only healthier, but also happier. Sports and exercise have a strong impact on our mental and physical health, that you are perhaps even the most important key to our happiness.
Other gambling habits could also include things like
I didn’t have the commitment to four concentrated, meaning, gratitude, and sports, because they help us be the Best we can (commitment and Sport), but also our relationships and communities (gratitude and meaning) involve.
Try it: on the basis of these four habits of Happiness you write, how you want it to in your and the life of your children is to install. In the Following you find some ideas that will help you, your children these habits teach. But remember that you must practice these habits to inspire their children.
Has? your child is a Hobby, it can lose (a Flow activity)This Hobby calls for your child will always be more, if his skills improve? These two qualities – the feeling that time flies, if you look at an activity devoted, and the possibility of major challenges to make the own skills are the cornerstone of commitment.
For younger children, the Play is a Flow activity. Make sure that you give your child time each day to simply play, without rules and structure.
Help children aged seven years, to find such activity, you can learn and you grow, if you Express a certain interest. Music and Sport are good starting points, but each and every Hobby, the skills required and your child is challenging, is a good Alternative.
you Think more quietly – as it would be learning with art, gardening or table? But give your child time to play.
keep in mind that your child
- must be able to define the Flow of activity means for it, and
- experience with your child Flow, perhaps with a activity that you might not have thought of. You may wish that your child plays Basketball, but perhaps it is experienced by the Flow while sewing.
Encourage your child to think of his environment. Voluntary work is a great way to learn meaning, as well as any other activity that requires care and compassion. You could pick up trash in your neighborhood, food to a homeless club donations or a letter to the city Council letter, in which they argue for a topic that is important to you.
keep in mind that volunteer work and other significant activities are not meant to be the curriculum vitae of your child’s capabilities. If your child has the feeling to help others just as is, the own resume to improve, then it will refer to these activities on themselves and not on others. the FOCUS Online provides you with the most exciting Reports from the parents. Here you can subscribe to the Newsletter.
incorporate A popular method to help children to practice gratitude, gratitude as a family activity before dinner. Before the dinner, you could ask each family member to tell about something, what it is grateful (e.g., “I am grateful that today, the weather was beautiful and I could spend my break outside,” or “I’m thankful that Papa has given me today, chocolate in the school”).
Other ways to practice gratitude, are thank: one other Person (personally or by letter), to pray or to keep a Gratitude diary.
4. Sports and exercise
you should install the Sport in your everyday life of your child. But you don’t have to go to a fitness Studio or sports call. For children Sport should also mean fun. As soon as you move in and a little sweat, is enough.
Because the day has only 24 hours, you should prefer sleeping and sports of any activities in front of the screen. Television and other screens belong to the edge of the family life. If screens are always available (because, for example, your living room on a TV set is aligned), or a part of your everyday life (because of the TV during or after dinner, is turned on), then it is likely that the screens take up a lot of time. Time that you could spend better if you talk, play, read and so on.
The time you and your kids spend on the screen, should be purpose-bound, and limited. For example, you could spend a Friday TV night with the family or after a hike on Sunday to a video game competition.
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