recently it became fashionable to postulate that women do not even the weaker sex, but on the contrary, they are more resistant and resilient than men. I agree with this?
Marina Smolensk: Perhaps a reaction to the difficult circumstances and how people oppose them, depends on the individual, not on the floor. However, there is also a purely biological difference in how respond to crises men and women. Not that is better or worse. Rather differently. Male scout new female guardian. This is the normal course of civilization. A woman closer to home, to children. What she does for a child in the first years of his life, determines his fate. Therefore, the adaptability of women, its ability to survive a priori should be higher. You do not forget that we have whole generations of men were killed in the war and women took over their functions. It builds on generations to come.
Then to the current crisis, the woman is better prepared?
Marina Smolensk: somewhere, Yes. It easier for a woman though, because she and the house to “save her” – to wash, to follow up on gloves, masks. From men usually wait for strategic decisions, but they are difficult to accept in a situation of quarantine or, for example, serious unemployment. But it is important what level of adaptive mechanisms acquired from a specific person. Can you accept the situation? You see for her development?
Now, many remember the crisis that erupted in the 90-ies. The psychological state of the people then and now look like?
Marina Smolensk: Then collapsed the familiar world, the future was misty, and to earn a living the usual way was impossible. Yeah, that’s what people feel now. Then in the “Shuttle” went and doctorate, both men and women. But still, the people formed a generalized image of the “Shuttle”: a woman with a heavy striped bags.
What personal characteristics help to survive in crisis and men and women?
Marina Smolensk: There are people opportunities, and there are people the procedure. People capabilities are focused on change, people procedure – stability, immutability.
They were roughly equal in the world, maybe people the procedures a little more. Man features constantly need to seek new, a person procedure, you must have certainty: to give him precise instructions what to do, where to go, what to bring. Is the contractor. He lost when he said: go there, do not know where, bring it, don’t know what. A person possibilities just that want. He said: “You tell me, what is the desired result, but as I come to him – none of your business”. The difference is even hormonal: the people of these two different types of control hormones. But, in addition, a lot comes from childhood: the environment in which CHthe person grew up, what was used and then abandoned.
And then there was a quarantine…
Marina Smolensk: And for the person of the procedure broke the stereotype! He doesn’t know what to do next, experiencing first a very strong stress. But, most likely, then it adapts and enters a new track – for example, in work on udalenke. He has stabilized, everything will work: how to live, how to deliver in house products, how to communicate with loved ones. He eventually calms down and goes through the crisis fine. A man of possibilities when it block, planting, for example, at home without work, deprived of just what he is particularly good. If he is a Mature person, then rush to the opportunity to return – even within the four walls. Opens something on the Internet, learning new things. If not, the worst possible options are: depression, apathy, nervous breakdowns.
And, apparently, among people procedure a little more than women, and among people of the possibilities of men?
Marina Smolensk: Perhaps, Yes. A week ago I was talking with a taxi driver. He told his story: “Thank you “to the crown”. I worked for ten years in large retail chains, rose from an ordinary salesman to the head of sales of paint products. Realized that I will hardly be able to move. I was not interested in chasing routine. And then out of the quarantine was forced to travel by taxi. Now I know that back will not return, I will organize something of their own”. This approach human capabilities. And it was a man.
another one of my client once lost all the money due to bad investments. By this time she was already retired, sitting at home, hobby – only the usual flowers. Having lost all savings, she fell into a depression. And then… began to breed these their violets for sale. Now she has a shop! Women tend to turn a hobby into a small business. A typical “people procedures” that is able to overcome inertia and open up new opportunities. And it’s a woman.
is it True that women in General are more anxious than men?
Marina Smolensk: Women are often more suggestible, more worried about family and children. Man often crushes the fear that he personally will be untenable. But such a science, psychogenetics, for example, believes that the anxiety level can be determined ancestral memory. Those whose ancestors were dying of epidemics, are more susceptible to internal strain. They may not know the history of his family, but psychogenetics believe that fear of epidemics such people is genetically programmed.
please Comment on this letter to our readers: “we Have recently had a baby. Husband of coronavirus have lost their jobs. We have a car, but he was ashamed to get in a taxi or courier. I would have left if not for the baby!”
Marina Smolensk: Women are more likely to zepce cling to life, are more serious about commitments, faster ready to lower the bar, go to low-skilled labor. Men – no. Here plays its role the way we bring up boys and girls. Boys are more likely to grow “on a pedestal”. In adult life, such people think that paid work is demeaning. But a person truly self-sufficient not down, if you have to go to the couriers.
And how to act on his lying on the sofa the second half?
Marina Smolensk: to Say: “I know you will. I’ll always respect you, even if your job will not be as cool as the one you lost.” Remember the times in your youth when you were proud that you loved him. And sometimes for the family it’s best to switch places. Husband to take the children and house wife to earn. There is no shame in such a scenario, if it is beneficial to all.
1 Remember other difficult moments in their lives. As you got out of the situation? What helped you? Do the exercise: tell us about some life situation twice: first with the position of the victim, and then from the perspective of a person who has received invaluable experience.
2 Emotional state affects the immune system. Improve the mood can be pleasant Affairs and procedures – physical exercise, conversation with friends, pleasant music, favorite movie.
3 Use the method of “smiling photos”: print your photo, where you smile, and hang in a prominent place. It helps to stay positive.
4 When there is no possibility to quit an unloved job, write a list of what it still suits you. The stability of wages? The opportunity to work from home or, on the contrary, on the air? Repeat these arguments.
5 If overcomes apathy – force yourself to move, planning on a small step forward. To wash the dishes, take a shower, read a book for 20 minutes. Just like no power, but you have children? Get multitasking. Perform the most necessary.