BBC presenter and podcaster Deborah James doesn’t know how long she has left to live. But one thing is certain: she certainly doesn’t want to leave on the weekend of Queen Elizabeth II’s 70th jubilee celebrations.

Her own collection, an incredibly successful appeal for donations and regular updates: BBC podcaster Deborah James actually has an awful lot on her plate – and yet she is terminally ill herself. Since 2016 she has been letting her followers and fans participate in her fight against colon cancer. In the meantime she has said goodbye to them and went to her parents’ house for the last walk. But she has one thing in mind: not to die on the 70th anniversary of Queen Elizabeth II’s throne – not just because of Duchess Meghan (nee Meghan Markle).

Dame Deborah James told “I’m determined not to die on the anniversary weekend – I don’t want Meghan to steal the show from me.” That’s right, the BBC podcaster was knighted for her successful and tireless work in support of UK cancer research. And although she decided at the beginning of May to stop the treatments, she has not lost her sense of humor.

Deborah James tries to see every day as a gift and to enjoy the time with her loved ones. She recently had a slumber party and visits like Prince William’s help create fond memories. But she also says on Instagram: “Making memories can be hard when you’re dying! Oh the pressure!”

In an interview with she admits: “Dying is really hard. I’ve been consumed with anger this week, I’ve turned into a real bitch. I keep yelling at people and pushing them away. I am angry about what is happening to me. I don’t want to die.” That brought her to a decision: apart from her family, including her husband Seb and their children Hugo and Eloise, she doesn’t want to see anyone – not even close friends – anymore.

“I don’t want my friends to see me like that,” Deborah James continues, adding, “I don’t want them to remember me like that.” Still, she wants to give encouragement: “What’s really hard is, that nobody talks about death – we don’t really know what happens or how to deal with it. Death is the last taboo of life. I hope that by talking about it a little I can contribute something. People see me maybe and think, ‘Just spend time with your family.’”

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