After a checkered life, and so many madnesses, Louis decided to calm down. For 10 years, he has shared his daily life with a woman he loves. Someone “good” that he is even “dearly in love” with. A near-perfect combination, except for one thing: in bed.
“I don’t feel like screwing up our relationship,” says the young man in his sixties, an athlete who could easily be considered 10 years younger, seated on a Friday afternoon in a pretty brasserie. “But I’m going to be 62,” he adds. And sometimes I feel like time is running out. And that I don’t take advantage of it…” Hence the impasse, one guesses.
It must be said that he has taken advantage of it rather well so far, despite a start, let’s say, late. And quite epic. Here: at 16, Louis has his first girlfriend, an otherwise “platonic” relationship that lasts four years. Then, he meets a second one, who he impregnates during their very first lovemaking! “She had an abortion, but it was still a very nice [first] experience,” he recalls. It was in a student apartment, we had a mattress on the floor, we were listening to the Beatles…”
After an adventure in a holiday camp (with antics in the car, a field, the edge of the highway), Louis decides to settle down, mid-twenties. For what ? “I still wonder. Social pressure? The fact remains that he marries the wrong girl, whom he finds one evening in bed with a friend. “A shock”, summarizes our man. “I felt confused. I really didn’t see that coming…” Especially since Madame confides in him that she married herself under pressure, even hid her homosexuality from her family, all because of “religion”.
Louis fumes, but we don’t yet know why. Here, he explains, at this precise moment of the interview: “Me, when I was 12, I was groped by a priest. It was a rape, today I can name it, but at the time I did not understand. […] So I am open to many things, but religion, much less. »
He does not dwell on this painful chapter, except to confide that this undoubtedly explains his platonic beginnings. “I hesitated to take action, I didn’t want to reproduce what I had experienced,” he analyzes, hindsight helping.
At the turn of his thirties, a betrayal and a divorce later, our Louis rebounds. How ? You’re a handsome man, he thought to himself, you’ve got charisma, so go! We take advantage! »
For five years, he did exactly that, and plenty of it. “I can’t even count them. It was one after another,” he said, smiling. And he also has great memories. “It was almost always pleasant. I am a generous person. “Until he meets a woman who stands out from the crowd, to whom he has a child. Their story lasts a few more years. And again, things don’t go quite as planned. But really not: Madame falls ill, becomes unstable, downright violent. We’ll spare you the details, but now, at 40, Louis finds himself separated once again, with custody of his child as a bonus.
If, at the beginning, he goes through a “huge shock”, human, romantic, family, where sex is the “last of [his] priorities”, the first being his child, we will have understood, quietly but surely, his “sex instincts” resurface. And luckily, he is well surrounded, his friends can keep, while he lives again.
And here Louis is back on the market, to take full advantage of, just like in his early thirties. He still hears himself repeating, “We’ll sleep together, but we won’t wake up together.” And obviously, it’s not going too badly for him. “One week, I slept with seven different women,” he recalls, his eyes sparkling. Including three different ones on the same day. The heel. We open the floodgates. We have fun. »
A real heartthrob: at work, on the bike, at the checkout, even at the hairdresser, advances are coming from all sides. “Do you have the taste? is he regularly asked. I had to release the pheromones! […] And it worked as much as I wanted. Anywhere anytime. »
If that fills it up? Affirmative. ” It’s certain ! Sex is like pizza, no matter what kind, it’s always good, full, less! »
Except that after 10 years, his growing child, Louis ends up questioning himself:
Here we are. It was there that, through various friends, he finally met his current wife, around 50 years old. “And with her, I felt like developing a real relationship. Not a sexual affair,” he declares. Why her, exactly? “His stability,” he replies without hesitation. Its balance. She is very rational. And very beautiful…” They have the same values, a perfect understanding when traveling, share a host of interests.
And in bed? “Well, that’s it,” he replies with a sigh. I would say that is the only element where we are not perfectly compatible. ” But still ? The beginnings are “correct”. Besides, he hides nothing from her, and “unpacks” all of his past to her. But for her part, she has a less active career. And obviously more modesty. “She already told me: it doesn’t have to be long, and we don’t have to discuss it for hours… Oh yes, and: you don’t have to please me.” »
Not easy, for Louis. “I’ve always been in the exchange. It was never one-way. So I end up holding back. I have a hard time having fun alone! […] I would say my level of satisfaction is 70%. Maybe I’m too demanding? »
He hadn’t planned to tell us, but yes, he ended up cheating on her. It was a few years ago. An “adventure”, as he says, “purely sexual”. If it bothered him? “Again, I feel confused,” he replies. It was good, but I’m sorry. […] It was a need that I had. It did me good. And I felt male again. But yes, of course he feels “guilty”.
In short, he doesn’t really know. Lately, he’s been trying to broach the subject: “I kinda feel like we’ve become roommates, more than lovers,” he told her. For her part, Madame, the menopause helping, simply no longer wants. He did not dare to confide more. For what ? “Chicken,” he said, laughing.
But that’s not all. “I’ve lived alone long enough to have my needs met and recognize that I like being in a relationship better,” he says. So, yes, it “represses” discussions. “Chicken,” he repeats. I have a lot of difficulty accepting that I will no longer have fun. […] But I am not ready to sacrifice everything that is going well with my spouse. In the balance, sex weighs less than everything else,” he believes.