From the top of his “84 years”, as he says, Gilles had a very active sex life. A story of a full life, but now in slow motion, much to her sadness.
“I have had an active heterosexual life for at least 42 years,” he wrote to us in the spring. I have lived with the woman of my dreams for 20 years, without any sexuality, and I suffer from it. »
Of course, we wanted to understand why, and how it could have come to this. Why, above all, he remains despite his manifest suffering.
When we see him arrive at the little café where he has given us an appointment, all smiles, his white hair in disorder and his magazine under his arm, we guess that the gallant man – he insists on paying us our bed! – must have broken many hearts in his best years. And we guess right, to hear him tell his story, with a memory and attention to detail that speaks volumes. “I like the company of women,” Gilles smiles, and it shows.
Her first relationship? Very young, with his very first wife. “We might not even have been 18. They were inexperienced, but for the 20 years of marriage, the sex still went “relatively well”.
He does not expand on the subject because he has a lot to tell. As proof: towards the end of their marriage, brace yourself, the couple go to “therapy” to save the relationship, and our Gilles develops a “bond” with the therapist. Yes, they sleep together, he confirms, laughing. ” It was good ! And for me it was something new, she was older! »
He does not seem to see the slightest concern and continues his story with contagious lightness. His marriage ended up dying, and Gilles, in his late thirties, then had an affair or two (“sexually very acceptable, I always speak for myself, but we’re not complaining about it!”), then met at work. a first secretary. Allow precision, because there will be several.
“I like her very much,” he said smiling, “and she seems to like me.” Their story lasts a few years. “It was good”, summarizes the man, at the time manager, “not seventh heaven”, but “good”.
Still, they leave each other and Gilles then has an encounter that will change his life. He is in his forties and fell in love with a colleague, let’s call her Juliette, whom he calls to this day “the woman of his life”. For good reason, it will return to the scene much later, you will see. From the first look, he is “transported to another world, [he is] in love”, sums up our Romeo. “To paraphrase Leonard Cohen, I love every inch of her!” »
Long, curly hair, even eyes, she’s a “very beautiful woman,” he recalls vividly. And she’s also the one who “straightforth” brings him to bed. “She’s from the 1970s, and that’s great,” he beams. She also has a boyfriend, “very open”, who sees nothing wrong with their love triangle. The relationship ultimately lasts only a few months, because Juliette is incapable of a “possession relationship”, as she puts it. “She wanted the openness, explains Gilles, towards other men. But not for me! It was kind of upside down, and I didn’t agree! There, then, temporarily ends their story.
A few months later, our Gilles meets yet another “extraordinary woman”. ” Again ! he laughs. She, too, is “unusually beautiful” and when they finally end up in bed, “it’s beyond anything [he’s] known.” More than with his Juliet? Affirmative. “Yes,” he confirms. Because there was always this restraint in front of this person that I loved too much, and that I love too much. Notice the use of the present tense. “When one loves too much, one suffers. We will come back to this.
Second marriage to this famous woman, therefore, a story that Gilles qualifies as “very good”, “slipper love”, “we are both good”, until he meets, in his early fifties, a second secretary. “A blonde with blue eyes”, an “emancipated” woman with whom Gilles gets along “wonderfully”. On a business trip, what had to happen happens. “We end up in bed and it’s beyond nirvana. I still have visions of her and me, she was a beautiful woman! “Except that Madame is also married on her side and their two respective unions end in “fiasco”.
As you will have understood, Gilles then finds himself in a relationship with the secretary. And no, it’s not over at all for him. He is in his late fifties, retired, and leaves for many months to volunteer abroad. This is where he has yet another adventure with a European, a little in spite of himself, that said. “There comes an age when one is full!” Obviously not him, to hear him recount his “flyy” nights with the lady in question. “We fucked so much!” »
He returns to the country, leaves the secretary, and continues this relationship at a distance for some time, with a handful of visits per year. “But that didn’t make any sense,” he said.
And then 20 years ago, to be exact, Gilles fell back on his Juliette. The one and only. “She had never changed her number!” he marvels. She’s a magnet, that woman, to me! And she hadn’t changed a bit. Still just as beautiful, still just as magnetic.
Madame has just separated, they see each other again, and begin “a relationship that lasts even today”.
And then to bed? This is where the shoe pinches, we know. “In bed [the first time] is good, because we found each other,” he replies softly. But I’m not the love of his life. Hence his famous suffering, we finally understand, because of this love so strong, although one-sided. “Yes, she is the love of my life. Is this explained? It can’t be explained! »
His open couple project is no longer relevant, it should be noted. In fact, his entire sexuality is no longer relevant. “She’s past that age…” she says. She doesn’t even want to be petted anymore, and has been for almost 20 years now. “We haven’t fucked more than five times in 20 years. »
Yes, our Gilles suffers from it. “I need to feel his skin, feel his flesh, I need physical closeness!” “Why doesn’t he leave her?” The famous love. “I would have left her if I didn’t love her. […] Love cannot be explained, love has no reason, if not unreason, “concludes our man, before adding:” And then do we start whatever is it at 84? »