Ruby has been an escort for three years. Enough to get a good idea of ​​the business, the customers and their needs. Enough to claim that she now performs an “essential service”. Explanations in bulk and especially without filter.

The 31-year-old (“Do you want my real age?”), unofficially 26 (“Men prefer fresh lilies!”), has so much to say, it’s hard to know where to start .

She welcomes us to her home, with her long braid and her angelic smile, surrounded by her cats and her dog, in her cozy cocoon in the north of the city. “Do you want me to give you a job description?” “, she launches, entering illico in the heart of the matter.

To be honest, we no longer believed it, the young woman took so long to answer us to set the appointment. But we finally understood that it was not so much to escape as because Ruby suffers from mental health problems (various disorders, anxiety, she even suffered from psychosis a few years ago), like so many others. women in industry. “Of all the girls I’ve worked with in three years as an escort, 99%, if not all, have mental health issues, or abandonment issues, trauma, etc. “, she says, in a shocking and no less felt first observation of a series that will punctuate our entire interview.

Ruby knows what she’s talking about. In addition to being an escort, she studied psychology. “I went to graduate school to be a neuropsy,” she says. And yes, the dichotomy between escort and doctoral student is quite large. »

She dropped out after 10 years.

New shock.

“We agree that no one grows up wanting to be an escort, continues our singular interlocutor. I wanted to say what is really going on. »

How did she grow up then? In a “dysfunctional” family, with a missing father (“my first male abandonment”) and a somewhat “controlling” single mother. As a teenager, Ruby is a studious and rather athletic girl. She has several boyfriends, but finds that it is always her who leaves them. Sexually, she also feels like she has to “compensate.” “Probably because I didn’t have a father,” she says. I didn’t have an Oedipus complex […], I just don’t know how to relate to a man. »

Then, at university, she finds herself in a relationship with her best friend, a guy, like her, “anxious depressive”. “When it ended, we had no more sexual relations. It was super flat. »

It was while she was studying that the accumulation of her worries did its work. “I was no longer able to get up. […]. And then it was the end of the month, I had to pay my rent…”

Ruby searches the internet, finds an agency with one click, sends photos, and ends up with six clients on her very first day.

The first, she still remembers. “An obese old gentleman, really not pretty, but fine as a heart. Way of speaking: the man still sodomizes her without her consent. “I knew afterwards that it was an extra…”

When asked how many clients she’s had, Ruby laughs. ” No idea. Nevertheless, his vision of them has changed. “At first I thought they were assholes,” she said. But I have come to conclude that men are not at all like women. […] They are more controlled than women by their sexual urges. […] Being an escort is an essential service! Here we are.

Essential ? Indeed, insists Ruby, who has lost count of the number of men she has met who have “no sex”. “And it’s going to become a societal problem!” ” How ? Because everyone experiences tensions. But “men, she observes, it’s in their testicles!” “I don’t know how else to say it!” »

Customer profile? Singles, plain and simple, but also men on business trips, couples with kids (“that dashed hopes…”), or on the “autism spectrum,” as she puts it. “And they all have one thing in common: money. »

But how the hell does she do it, when the client is really, shall we say, uninspiring? “I do dissociation,” Ruby replies without hesitation. It’s a little fucked up, but I’m floating. […] As a defense mechanism. »

With time and experience, Ruby has come to somewhat (albeit fondly) “judge” these men and their fantasies, even though she doesn’t like the word. “I find them a bit ridiculous. Since I’m an escort, I glorify the woman! More than ever ! »

“Ridiculous”, because she sees all the colors, it must be said: “Guys and their fascination with ass!” she bursts out laughing. Oh how they like to put their finger there! […] To see a 65-year-old man, a psychiatrist, almost in a fetal position, because he wants to put his finger on me […], it is psychologically fascinating. There is something empowering about having them at your mercy like that. »

Certainly, and pardon the graphic details, she has already cried during an anal intercourse, or a blow job pushed a little deep.

And then sometimes, too, she’s “paid to have an orgasm,” she adds. “You have to look on the bright side!” Hence his “love/hate” relationship to the craft.

We dare to ask her if she feels exploited or if she finds anything degrading. Quite the opposite, Ruby replies, with yet another surprise revelation. “We know, between women, that it’s a bit of nonsense. We’re doing an acting job! We sell a fantasy that does not exist. […] Being an escort is pretending that you really like it when you really don’t. »

One of a thousand examples: “Licking balls for 45 minutes,” she said, laughing even harder. It’s borderline degrading for them: they need someone to lick their balls, they pay, and they convince themselves that I like it! »

Besides, she adds, let it be said: “Anal, deep throat, all girls hate it. If she pretends to like it? “All the time,” she replies. And then there are extras…”

This is where we understand what is holding her back. Which makes her continue in the industry. “Because I’m in a golden cage,” Ruby confirms. Because of the money! »

His wish ? Ultimately, graduate. “My dream, which would be the most rewarding, would be to be a shrink with escorts,” says the young woman with a smile. We can only wish him that.