Mathieu has been in a relationship for 20 years, married to the love of his life. And then for 10 years he has dreamed of seeing his wife with another man. Quietly, but surely, the idea took hold. Not almost.
The forty-year-old arranged to meet us on a sunny terrace in his neighborhood, one radiant October noon. With his hair cut short, behind his little round glasses, he looks like a very ordinary guy. His nervousness confirms that this is anything but the case. “No one, no one, no one in our lives knows, it’s a very, very, very personal side! he confides straight away. It’s quite marginal, too intense! »
He met his wife in her early twenties, a real love at first sight in a nightclub. And from the start, it was “fireworks,” he says, smiling.
Beyond the children, “couple difficulties” and other “quabbles”, their sexuality has always been their “rock”. “To this day, every Friday and Saturday evening, we have a candlelight dinner, at all times. […] I go through boxes of candles a month! »
It was 10 years ago that Mathieu mentioned his famous fantasy to his wife for the very first time. Reaction ? “Logic,” he said. She was in shock! And then swinging, 10 years ago, remember, the world talked less about it! »
Still, he always dreamed of it. Why, exactly? “I always found it erotic, I always liked the idea of my wife turning other people on, and then I always wanted to see her trip, experience something else! »
The years pass, and “one thing leading to another”, they discuss it “more and more”, and above all more “seriously”. “It became a topic to spice up our time in bed. We became more and more on the same wavelength. »
Until they dare. It was five years ago. “She didn’t want a stranger,” Mathieu continues. So he contacted a “friend” who he liked physically and with whom they got along mutually. Reaction ? Again: “He thought I was completely crazy! », he bursts out laughing, remembering the scene, quite “awkward” thank you. A conversation to confirm everyone’s intentions and seriousness later, and the three of them meet at home, to “break the ice”.
And ? “We had quite a bit of wine,” he laughed again. And it went really well. It wasn’t fireworks. But not ordinary either. » But still, do we dare? “We had a three-way trip,” he elaborates. Sometimes we looked at each other, I gave them moments, etc. »
The experience was conclusive enough for the lovers to want to do it again with another man.
Easier to fantasize than to do, that said. “You don’t put a sign in your window! » Mathieu ends up creating a profile for them on a libertine site, where he explains what they are looking for, filters the responses of potential candidates and sets up appointments. A laborious exercise that requires the patience of a monk (which his wife does not have!). “It’s really weird talking about all this! », he said, suddenly blushing.
This is because since then (and in a rather exponential way), they have had a nice rotation, always in the following mode: everything starts with a meeting to validate that the man (and always only a man) chosen is not “crazy”, and that there is indeed “chemistry”. If it’s embarrassing? “Yeah,” Mathieu grimaces. Luckily, I work in sales, so I’m comfortable speaking from the first minute! »
Then, if the conditions are favorable, the trio sets up a real date “and we arrange to look after the children. It’s quite a logistics…”
On the big day, it’s always the lady who “manages her comfort”, in short who decides when it starts.
And it always has the same effect on him: half excited, half proud, to see someone “tripping over his wife” like this. “It’s funny to say,” he says, “but we’re even more united during these evenings. It brings us closer, we talk about it in the weeks that follow and our sexuality is even more intense! »
He didn’t tell us everything: in addition to seeing his wife with another man (more comfortable and confident with time, he takes care to proudly emphasize), Mathieu realized that he also likes to be “humiliated”. Humiliate? “She can look at me and tell me that he fucks better than me,” illustrates our interlocutor. It doesn’t excite her, but she knows that it turns me on…” And in what way, exactly? “You’d have to ask a sexologist,” he smiles, “but it gives me a kind of relaxation. Like a drug. »
Parenthesis: when they are alone, Mathieu really likes to be whipped, he adds: “The only way I can explain it is through my fairly stressful professional life. […] When you have that done to you […], there is a sense of relaxation, my stress drops. » End of the parenthesis.
Over the years, they saw some men a few times, over several months, others not. They also had slower periods, especially in summer. “And that’s okay, it gives us a little reprieve. […] We have already stopped six, seven, eight, nine months, and it has not changed anything in our chemistry. » But it is above all his fantasy that has evolved. Quite recently, in fact. “I wanted her to meet alone. » Again, he is asked why. “It’s like skydiving,” Mathieu analyzes here.
And that’s what they’ve been doing ever since. “She even went to meet another man in another city to spend a night with,” he says, noting his new, “big adrenaline rush” the week before our interview.
“For 48 hours, we texted each other, even though I wasn’t physically there. It’s like we’re experiencing it together. » Mathieu chose his dress and stockings with his wife, “it was a kind of joint project”. He even witnessed the first minutes of their antics. “It was really exciting…”
If they are happy? “She’s super happy,” he replies, “and we’re even closer! But you don’t do that when your relationship is going bad, you do that when your relationship is going well! »
Besides, and after all these confidences, Mathieu concludes on this. “It’s just a little extra. We had difficulties as a couple, and intentionally, we stopped all that. […] We could stop tomorrow morning and it wouldn’t be stressful. […] But it’s still a big secret! »