She had a big “sex capital”. She consumed it all. And at 65 years old, he is now “exhausted”. Story of a “free” life.
The expression is not ours, of course. But good from her: Claire, a dynamic 60-something with gray hair, bob cut, who arranged to meet us at a café an hour from Montreal, where she lives. “I don’t feel like it anymore,” she said simply. I have nothing more to give! “And we understand that she gave a lot, precisely.
It all started around the age of 17, after a first “not really great” adventure: “I liked him a lot, then I didn’t like him at all! sums up our interlocutor, with a lightness that will not leave her in the interview. Monsieur was older (“I’ve always had older men”) and, let’s say, not exactly tactful. “Even though it hurt me, he wouldn’t stop. He said it was like that. After that, I saw that it’s not like that…”
Their story lasts a year, then she meets another man, with whom she lives for a while. “I loved him, it was amazing,” she recalls. Nanny. “Nanny? She is very caring, and her Romeo leaves her after six months.
Claire then finds herself alone, but not for long. She then dates a friend. A real “sex beast”, as she calls it. “We made love regularly, very, very regularly. This is where she gives us her famous expression:
Back then, in her early twenties, Claire found herself in the countryside with a good group of friends. “I was working in a bar, it was great,” she recalls. I met lots of people. »
She falls in love with the most handsome guy in the place. And him too. Their sexuality is “great,” except he’s cheating on her. But do you know what? Claire doesn’t care. “I’ve never been jealous,” she notes. I do not know why. I could have been. Me, I was like, you can cheat on me, but when you get home, you better be ready for me. Crazy, huh? I don’t know how it happens. Maybe I didn’t believe in love? »
It must be said that for her part, she leaves her handsome guy, takes him back, then goes herself to have fun elsewhere. “Me, I was poking, it was fun! ” With who ? “All the time in the world I knew,” she clarifies. The same gang all the time. […] It was free love…”
This freedom stretches for a few years, with dozens of adventures. No, Claire never counted. “I even shared a boyfriend with a friend. He was in love with her (her) head and my (mine) body,” she laughs.
At the end of her twenties, she ends up meeting the father of her child. Their story spans 10 years. In bed ? “The end of the shit.” He was in a good mood, we were fucking, he was mad, we were fucking, and the foreplay, there wasn’t too much of it…” She finally told him, “I’m not your spillway…”
Monsieur throws tantrums, throws “I’m due” and others “you have no libido”. “I have one, libido, but it’s not like yours!” she replies.
With the years and hindsight, Claire knows: “He should have been finer than he was. No, it wasn’t late…”
And then after 10 years, therefore, our Claire meets another man, very “fine”, him, precisely. He appreciates her, finds her “beautiful, fine, competent”. In short, she ends up leaving her spouse for him.
So to speak, because the man in question is married. Their idyll, which stretches all the same over a few years, therefore remains secret. “I left my husband as soon as I fell in love, she says, I didn’t want to cheat on him! »
Here she rediscovers her joyous lightness, and her libido along the way. “I was having fun, it was scary. I felt unique! »
When the story ends (a relative threatens to report them), Claire falls into a depression. “I burned out, but I’m convinced it was depression. I had a big heartbreak…”
Parenthesis: during this adventure, our Claire, who is officially single, it should be remembered, does not hesitate to have fun. “My neighbor would tell you it was pretty active,” she smiled knowingly. He wasn’t available on weekends or evenings, so I was meeting other people! […] I saw three other men during those years. Oh no, four! My God ! she giggles. Other married men? “No, not at all,” she retorts. From the free, free, free world. And me, I was mixed up,” she adds, looking away, lost in her memories. “I felt like investing in a relationship, but my affair with my married man was never far away. “And monopolized it, we guess.
That said, she takes her foot rather well.
Probably a question of age, she believes (she’s 40, “on top of everything!”), and this great need for freedom. “I was squeezed for 10 years,” she recalls. So when I broke up, it was really bliss…”
And then at the end of the quarantine, Claire meets yet another man, a platonic affair that lasts some time, before flirting with one or two lovers. From ? “That’s it,” she said, with an unequivocal wave of her hands. Returning to her expression, she concludes: “I realized that my love capital is at zero. […] Sexually, I had a lot of capital, but I spent it all, I don’t feel like it anymore. […] I look at my experiences, there were so many, and it was so fleeting. […] I spent my life meeting people who did not want to get involved. It was in tune with the times. Free love is what it’s like: disposable…” she blurts out.
That said, she has no regrets. Except one. “I will grow old alone…”