“It was still a bit difficult to find, just so that I don’t seem to find it funny – because it isn’t. But I didn’t want it to be dark either; I wanted to show that it could be less bad than you think, that you could get through without always lying in a ball crying. »
“Maybe a month after I got my diagnosis, right before I started chemo, a lot of people were asking me questions. I also researched a lot and I realized that there was no book that met my expectations and the practical questions I had. I found a lot of info on the side effects of the treatments, but that wasn’t just what I wanted to know. What gave me the most reassurance or answers was talking to people who had had cancer or who still had cancer: to know how it went for them the chemo, what they brought into the chemo room – things more grounded in everyday life. I thought to myself that I’m sure I’m not the only one who wants to know this a little in advance to ease the anxiety. Every day, I was taking lots of notes about how I was feeling, how long my treatment was going to last – because of course chemo is the big scary part of this journey. I took pictures of myself every two weeks to illustrate how quickly the hair grows back, the eyebrows. So the book was in my sights pretty much from the start, but I started writing it after my first surgery, in February 2022. By then, it had been a month since I finished chemo, I started to have more energy to work and through that I was finding times to write because I really needed to write. »
“I started at vous, then I switched to tu because when I was in the chemo room, half of the women – it was a specialized breast cancer center – were in their twenties or thirties, so younger than me. It really gave me a shock because I expected to be the youngest at 43 – but not at all. So I thought we need to talk to these girls in a more direct, more intimate way, and then yes, talking with a few of them, I saw that we had the same concerns and uncertainties. . »
“Me, it went in one ear and out the other. I wasn’t cursed because someone said to me, ‘Ah, you’ll definitely recover, you’re so strong. I took the positive from that and the rest, I automatically forgot. I have a friend who also had cancer, and she was angry to be told certain things. Seems like I didn’t have the energy to spend being upset about blunders like that. I myself have been clumsy before. »
“There is nothing that happens for nothing. That annoyed me, for example. I understand that means that you are still going to get something positive out of this ordeal, but how it’s formulated, it’s as if it had to happen. No, I would have done without it, even if I got some positives out of it. »
” Yes. I discovered that I had a strength that I never thought I had. I feel more comfortable doing lots of things that used to stress me out a lot, like doing radio interviews. While there, everything becomes not very serious, not very stressful. Same thing with medical examinations that are not related to cancer. Subconsciously, I say to myself: you went through cancer, so you are strong enough to do such and such a thing. I’m really more relaxed, I’m less anxious about a lot of things I’m afraid I won’t be able to do and I dwell less on a lot of details. I’m also savoring life a lot more, especially the times with the people I love, and I’m more aware of the possibility that everything will end. It’s super cheesy, cliché, but it’s a degree of awareness and gratitude that I believe is only achieved when you’ve come close to death. Our finitude becomes extremely real. »
