If, instead of the self-heated canned ravioli, only mom’s kitchen scores points or dad’s good advice succeeds in slowing down your own spirit of discovery, it seems clear: A “native stool” can’t make up his mind to take off here. The numbers are amazing to read: 28 percent of 25-year-olds were still living in their parents’ household in 2020 – and the Federal Statistical Office knows that the trend is rising!
However, the delayed move can also be motivated by completely different reasons than a lack of cord or convenience. Filmmaker Anne Kauth accompanied three adults who still live with their parents with her camera. Your enlightening report “Nesthocker” could be seen on Tuesday evening in the “37°” series on ZDF.
The reasons for the three so-called “nest stools” for not wanting to say goodbye to their children’s rooms are very different. The 29-year-old Ve, for example, had already left home, but failed due to the culture shock of country life versus Berlin: “The hustle and bustle, all the trams, everything is so loud.” Now she lives back in her parents’ house, which is now dilapidated, and dreams of the attic expand in order to live in it later with a partner.
Even the constant arguments with mother and father, who not only long for a little togetherness but also for financial support, cannot motivate Ve to try his own place to live again. She is among the 6 percent of women her age who have not yet moved out, compared to a remarkable 13 percent of young men of the same age.
It’s different from Ve’s father of two, Stefan, who has experienced drug abuse for years and feels strongly patronized by his parents. The 35-year-old longs for independence and is looking for a job, but doesn’t yet dare to move out. What is particularly difficult for him is the constant distrust of his father, who senses signs of a relapse into the drug milieu everywhere.
Felix, on the other hand, corresponds to the cliché of the “professional son” and has not the slightest desire to give up his comfort in the “Hotel Mama”: “I would be stupid if I were to move out. I wouldn’t have any space there. And it would also be expensive, and I can easily take the bit of nagging from my mother,” he says.
He prefers to stay with the extended family on the local farm in Franconia and helps out at work as much as he can’t avoid. And only if he didn’t party the night before. Felix is not alone in this: there are significantly more “squatters” in rural areas than in the cities. Felix’s friend Mona from the neighboring village, who is over 20, still lives with her parents.
Felix’s parents would have preferred to see the Filius fly – actually! “But you don’t want to throw anyone out,” Mama Ramona justifies in front of filmmaker Anne Kauth’s camera. So she “often” stocks the children’s fridges, who live in a converted barn, and postpones the plan to rent out the rooms to vacationers. “Maybe it’ll work out in ten years,” she laughs resignedly.
“I get along well with my family. You also have your freedoms. Why should I give that away?” Felix explains his lack of drive to change anything in the living situation. “Of course it would be cool to move somewhere else, to build something new and such, but … pfff. I have a bit of a hard time moving it.” As a precision mechanic, he prefers to commute half an hour to the city every day than to live there. “If I were to move out, I think it would be worse for me.” Also financially, as he emphasizes.
Nothing decisive has changed in this bill either, since recently 300 to 400 euros in housing allowances have been discussed. After all, he uses water and electricity, but Felix would find more to be excessive: “In return, I’ll also mow the lawn, so you can set a lower price for that.”
In the letter accompanying her film, Anne Kauth reports how difficult it was to find suitable protagonists. “Everyone has their own story of being cut off from their parental home, moving out, living alone for the first time,” writes the author. “But when I was looking for people for this film who would tell me why they are still living at home in their 20s, it turned out: It’s bloody hard to find someone who will admit that they still live at home voluntarily. “
It was made more difficult that the so-called “nest stools” were not organized and therefore difficult to find. “But after months of placing ads, the first feedback came and the first conversations started.” Anne Kauth: “Every time I’m surprised and enthusiastic about how quickly people talk very intimately about their very personal situation and situation.”
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*The contribution “At 23 still in the Hotel Mama: “I can easily stand the little bit of nagging from mother”” is published by Teleschau. Contact the person responsible here.