Killed in Moscow 27-year-old Marina Pankratova reported in social networks about the fact that her fiance Alexander Voronin raised her hand often and over nothing. When they reconciled, the girl removed their posts. This was told by friends Marina. But the young people met recently in April. But if you have “the honeymoon period” was so terrible, why the girl did not refused to continue the relationship? What you need to pay attention to the weaker sex and how to avoid becoming a victim of a rapist and a sadist, said the “MK” psychologist-psychotherapist humanitarian Alexey Lysenko.
-If a man raised his hand to a woman, I think, just need to say goodbye. But, perhaps, in some cases, you can give a man a second chance? What do the experts say?
-Assault usually allowed men psychologically flawed, weak, who want to achieve their own, and to explain what they would like and why, you can’t. And to find common ground with a woman not can. So, try to suppress your half to achieve dominance. Truly strong man will always talk. Smart guy, if he sees that not work out between us or are unable to agree, will spit and will go look for a better party, but will not try to push her.
If a woman says “no”, then the real strong men always hear it and not descend to the physical – women are physically weaker, usually with full-back they can not and it is initially unfair.
But, basically, once any man can be broken. Sometimes it just begs: stop, I don’t want to hear it. But the woman does not stop. There is a limit to everything, including the psyche. By and large, if you really try, especially when the man had nowhere to go, you can’t slam the door, it is possible to bring any.
And if there is physical abuse — I don’t mean beating, but, for example, a slap, a woman should immediately leave. Or to put the question firmly: I will not be able to live with a man that applies to me physical violence. If you ever try to raise a hand, it will be the end of a relationship. In General, a normal man he will leave. But the question is: how many of them, normal?
Good question. How can calculate in advance whether a man who liked to show aggression?
-If you see that the man does not comply with your boundaries, trying to control you, and starts the clock to check where you were and you’ll be morbid jealousy, it’s all bells that the person is sadistic character structure. Then he will try to dominate the family, to put everything under your control, to require reports.
don’t take his jealousy as if it is great. Jealousy is not a sign of love, but a sign of low self-esteem. ESL�� man thinks it so easily can replace the first, then this person has a problem. It is called pathological jealousy.
Another alarming sign is when a man praises you, though, but does it as if with a sneer. Something good will tell and I’ll taunt: you look beautiful today, not as ugly as usual. If he loves to run such a morally “kovotojas”, its tendency to hurt mentally can always go into the desire to hurt physically.
And another observation: usually such men to control woman, trying to push from her friends, family, and all ties break. There was no one to complain that the victim was alone and she could do anything.
-it is Often said: he who threatens in words, it comes down to it. In this case it works?
Threats in any case cannot be ignored. Remember the story where a husband chopped off his wife’s hands? He’s threatened her before. She begged him not to do it, and he thought he would look weak if I didn’t bring the promised to end. Then he himself will not be respected, and others it will not be respected. How perverted some people the idea that if he can’t break man – he’s a nobody.
there was another case when a man said to his woman: I’m the head of the drill, and then did so. That’s exactly how it happens. For these men this is absolutely not an empty threat, not a joke and not just words.
Please note: such men usually possess some talents and abilities. They have no real case. Woman is realized in love and family. For men it is all important, but men’s realization — in fact, in the professional field. And these, as a rule, or don’t work or work, but nothing like the professionals of itself does not represent.
their only way of self-affirmation is the dominance, in this case over a woman. How they perceive the relationship? If my will is not will be stronger, I will not be able to get her to break it, then I am nothing, trembling creature. For them, it’s super important.
Why become?
-All about education — if a child has not been exposed to the moral plank, one does not feel the boundaries of another person. Those who use violence, often brought up where there was someone dominant. Someone suppressed a child, mocked him, to obey his will. He suffered, and then found those who are weaker and they started to assert themselves — first on animals and then on weaker peers.
So fold the human sadistic. It is a way of self-assertion of these men — if possible someone to suppress to break down, he is strong, powerful, grandiose.
If a girl EPfirst realized that her young man has such tendencies, how to protect yourself during the conflict?
-When women are faced with a man with sadistic tendencies, bad if they don’t know when to stop. It is very important to observe the men. If a dispute arose and it is clear that the eyes of the man bloodshot that to prove to him nothing is impossible, it is necessary to shut up, to leave aside, but rather to escape.
unfortunately, some women at such moments I believe in the fairy tale that a man can’t raise her hand because she is a woman and continue to argue, and bring the bull almost to a state of passion — when he’s pissed already not think what to do.
If there is a sense that the conflict comes to a standstill that the aggressiveness of men is increasing, it is necessary to end the conversation. Do not try words, shouting, squealing something to prove. The person in this condition is impossible to prove anything, he already can’t hear any arguments.
