Let’s start with an ambitious proposal. The idea was formulated by the author Véronique Grenier (À Boutte) in the documentary series Crevée, by Bianca Gervais (offered on Extra de Tou.TV), where the actress and host goes to the sources of her great fatigue and Above all, look for ways to get out of it. We have a Ministry of Transport and a Ministry of the Status of Women, “why not a Ministry of Fatigue, where we would ask the question: what are we doing collectively? “. Question of tackling absenteeism, professional burnout, etc. head-on.
If everyone is tired, from primary school to university and even the job market, the subject nevertheless remains taboo. So, let’s talk about it, suggests Bianca Gervais, why not as part of an awareness campaign around fatigue, a bit like mental health campaigns, which have greatly contributed to destigmatizing the issue?
Another idea raised by Bianca Gervais: the right to work “well enough”. Inspired by the philosophy of the good enough parent, this parent who is neither helicopter nor disengaged, but rather balanced, the actress asks herself: “where is the hardworking good enough? We never meet him! We never talk about it! […] But where can we take our foot off the accelerator? »
Do you feel overwhelmed by piling up responsibilities? Can’t see the end? Instead of taking everything on your back, why not share, or rather broadcast, outright “spread the fatigue”? Bianca Gervais met five single-parent women who share tasks in a shared chalet, and their network is indeed something inspiring.
To “spread”, we still need to get rid of certain preconceived ideas, including this so-called “gift of self”, a very feminine notion, certainly the source of many exhaustions. This idea according to which women have this natural tendency to take care of others is not natural, but constructed, insist Amelia and Emily Nagoski, in Brûlées – How to escape the cycle of stress and burn-out, a practical work based on scientific concepts. A syndrome to be deconstructed, to take care of ourselves individually, then collectively.
It sounds silly, but it’s essential. “Without sleep, we die”, say the two authors of Brûlées, putting forward this statistic: 42%. This is the percentage of our time that our body and brain need to spend resting, approximately 10 hours out of 24. Don’t have them? That’s not exactly an option: “If you don’t take that 42%, they’ll take you,” the authors say. In short, exhaustion awaits you. Note that we are not just talking about sleeping here. These 10 hours can additionally include time for sports (30 minutes), quality time with a loved one (30 minutes), around the table (30 minutes) or for any other activity where you voluntarily take your mind off things ( friends, etc.).
Since we’re talking about friendship, all the experts confirm it: social connections are as essential to our well-being as water or food. “Human beings are not designed to function autonomously,” write the Nagoski sisters on this subject, who are not writing their first shocking book (Emily Nagoski is notably the author of Come As You Are [ Rejoice], an unpublished work on female sexuality). The famous village needed to raise a child? It is also essential to the well-being of adults. And among other things, it can help “diffuse” our fatigue, as suggested above.
We know that physical activity is the ultimate strategy for managing stress. Running, swimming, dancing, it channels our energy, it’s been proven. And very concretely, continues Bianca Gervais, we can, in doing so, “exchange head fatigue for physical fatigue”, or a more “tangible” fatigue, says the one who likes to put her hands in the earth, fill bags leaves, etc. “It feels good and validates being tired. »
It sounds simple, but it’s arguably one of the most radical ideas there is. “Who am I, what are my values, do my choices meet my values? », Lists psychoeducator Stéphanie Deslauriers (You deserve better than a bubble bath – A guide to taking care of yourself). To paraphrase our colleague Dominic Tardif with his podcast: are you becoming what you wanted? Have you ever even thought about it? “Choosing yourself is realigning yourself between what you want and what you can,” continues the author, a realignment which necessarily involves mourning, no doubt also an “inner peace”, certainly an “acceptance of self “. In short, a certain well-being.
Are you exhausted? Are we asking too much of you, from all sides? “It just can’t be done,” summarizes Stéphanie Deslauriers in her Guide to Self-Care. That’s self-compassion: recognizing that certain standards are too high, unrealistic, and above all unachievable, and giving yourself some slack. As human beings, recognizing that we can’t do everything, that this constant pressure has a price: our mental health, our well-being, whatever. Solution ? We give ourselves the right to say it, feel it, live it. In a word: “we are self-compassionate”!
