Ursina Brun del Re: By my patients. I originally made a very normal psycho-therapies, in which depression, anxiety, or eating disorders were in the centre. Because I’ve always had an open approach to the subject of sexuality, I asked the people, mostly, sometime, how you are doing in your sexual life. Also pornography came on the Table, and often. A woman asked me, for example, whether you should just accept that your man watch porn. Another was upset because she feared that her husband was more interested in the porn Actresses than her. I realized how much pornography is consumed in partnerships, and that men as well as women have a great need to talk about it.

From previous studies we know that more than 90 percent of the men, whether single or attached, make use of pornography. To be missing the single women reliable Figures. According to my study, the first in Switzerland on the topic of pornography and couples, consume 57 percent of married or fixed-partnered women porn. The frequency of use is charged, surpass the men, the women even more. the

I have performed an Online-study. Because people live in a minimum of one-year heterosexual relationship could participate, anonymously. The response was enormous: More than 1000 Swiss made – what was for me an impressive Testament to the sensitivity of the issue.

from Grisons Ursina Brun del Re (38) studied psychology and now operates in Zurich, a practice as a Psycho-Sexual and couples therapist. Her Dissertation is titled “influence of Pornography on the sexuality of the partnership”. She is married and has four children.

About the frequency of consumption – this question remained in the research so far completely ignored. It is of course a difference whether someone is consumed only once per month, or a day pornography. When you look at every day, has practically no more time, in he his some sexuality can live with that. So a Person, in General, are the men, moved the focus of their sexuality, more and more in the virtual world. Of the affected women, I hear, in practice, sentences like: “Since my husband is watching porn, I no longer feel it at all. I have always had the feeling that he had some image in mind when we are in bed and I don’t know whether he is now in the Porn or me.”

What really surprised me are the large differences between women and men. Women face their own porn consumption a lot more relaxed than men the your. You will find it quite in order that you may live in a partnership, but it is still a sexuality of their own care, by watching a Porn and masturbating. As soon as it goes, but then the consumption of their men, women are much more restrictive and get huge problems.

The women feel betrayed, and betrayed, and fear that their partners will lose any interest in them.

men can find it downright sexy, if you know that your partner is watching a Porn. By contrast, plagues often have a bad Conscience when they think of their own, often very intensive use. Many fear they could lose control. You can suffer literally, and believe that they could not impose on their women this side of your sexuality, and try to, you can secretly act out. But the secret you do it, the more alerted to their women – anything you can get of course. You think: What the hell is he doing? This will in turn reinforce their mistrust and stoking the fear to not meet him with the time.

I am convinced that this has a lot to do with it, that women are still not used to talking about their sexual desires. They remain, often in a passive role. If you can’t say your man, what would you like and what you don’t have fond of, get you time, anxiety. Afraid that her husband is watching in the porn, what he wants to do basically with you, but doesn’t get it. The devaluation spiral.

The are often amazed when they know what care their women. You say: “But my wife must have no fear – it’s just porn that have to do with the reality.”

There are men and women different excitation sources. For 90 percent of men to visual stimuli are clearly in the foreground, while women respond well to that, but much more about the Feel, Smell, and Hearing are stimulated. This is the main reason why men leave so much on pictures, and movies with pornographic content. Also in the sexuality with your partner, you will enjoy it especially if you can look at the body of their woman, their Breasts, their butts.

This is quite clear. Mainstream porn is almost exclusively produced by male Directors, for a male audience. From the content it needs as many strong stimuli, which often include violence; it needs to go quickly to the point. We know from studies that men look rarely a Film to the end; you are always looking for new impulses. Women, however, see themselves like a tantric Porn that drags on for over an hour, and with a plot oversight. Men don’t want Story, they want to see sex parts, best in Close-up penetrations …

That depends on how strong a man with the male actor in the Porn identified. There are two groups: one sees the protagonist as a role model and finds it attractive when he has a large Penis and a lot of potency, talk to great stamina and visible ejaculation. The other, which have a low self-esteem, feel more threatened by such a man and turn their attention to the performers. Don’t want to see the Penis and the ejaculation big.

Also, since there are big differences. Women want to drag your sexuality into the length, the enjoyment deepen, and savor. In surveys, they also say they were inspired by porn to real Sex with their partners. Men use porn mostly for the rapid discharge. That’s why it needs to go for you to the point quickly, at the best linked to strong stimuli, and the orgasm is even more the case the closer: more drastic pictures, more speed, more pressure.

women, like men, images are bad, often very bad. But I’m going to assume that a healthy adult man, the Consume of porn, which often contains shocking violence against women, can make all the difference to reality. A lot of men tell me in practice that scare you after the orgasm yourself, what has you excited as just, and that there is a world of difference to their real-life couple’s sexuality was. In this respect, I don’t think a lot of it, to pathologisieren the pornography only. The people view it one way or the other and need to know how you can deal with it.

By talking about it and, for a change, a movie to look at. In this way, a Couple comes to talk easier to your own sexual needs to, and can clarify the question, what is the significance of pornography for you and him, relaxed. So Fears and bad feelings on both sides break down: women have a better understanding of the virtual porn world must not be a danger to their relationship; and men meet their own consumption more lenient and not demonize him so strong.

This is actually a huge taboo. In my practice, I experience it on a regular basis, that couples are initially under a great tension, when we approach the topic. How are they supposed to only talk about something so Private with a stranger? But when the ice is broken, take the most love to the Chance and tell you what is bothering you.

This is a phenomenon I do not understand correctly. Clearly voyeurism and exhibitionism play in there – two of the big topics within the sexology. But that doesn’t explain why people your most intimate regardless of losses to date. You think just once to a future employer who discovers such a Video. Maybe we can slide people between the two Extremes taboo and openness and forth and experience a special thrill when crossing the border.