Claudia Effenberg, wife of ex-soccer player Stefan Effenberg, makes an unsuspecting appearance that makes others feel ashamed. But other guests also present embarrassing dropouts in the school show.
At the beginning there is a confession by Jörg Pilawa. His teacher was his “first great love”. He spent four great years in elementary school and wanted to pay attention. But then it would have clapped on his neck. Suddenly one of those wet balls of paper stuck there, which a classmate had spat out with “these empty ink eradicators”.
Unfortunately, TV presenter Britt Hagedorn does not notice the small revelation. She is not here yet. Actually, she should go to school with actress Meltem Kaptan, ex-soccer wife Claudia Effenberg and comedian Matze Knop in this quiz. When she finally appears 15 minutes late at the studio in Berlin, she has a strange excuse. “I went to the wrong airport,” she explains. “I should have gone to Cologne-Bonn, but I was in Düsseldorf.” Late for class? That’s an entry in the class register.
Moderator Pilawa sends celebrities to a special facility in “Back to School”. Because on the show, elementary school students teach the stars. After the lessons with the junior teachers in front of Jörg Pilawa, they have to pass the primary school exam. The curriculum provides for examinations in seven subjects: German, mathematics, English, local history and general knowledge, sport, art and music. The show has high potential for embarrassment.
The grades are given by real teachers. One of them is Mr. Kecker from Berlin. When Matze Knop jokingly asked if he could keep his chewing gum in his mouth in class, Mr. Kecker said seriously: “Here in Berlin, I’m happy when the children are there – whether with or without chewing gum.” The first embarrassment deserves a real teacher.
The real teacher from Gießen is even more embarrassing. When Ms. Hoffart Matze Knop takes the English exam and he passes the first task, she says: “You can still get an A if you don’t crack it”. When Jörg Pilawa criticized the language level, teacher Hoffart countered: “I have to adapt to the level of the students.”
And when Knop stands at the blackboard and writes down a solution in a bit of scrawl, the teacher from Giessen explains: “I can’t read it well, but I’m used to sucking claws.” The late Hagedorn meanwhile slipped a note to Matze. It says, “Will you go with me?” The offer is meant as a joke, but maybe now would be a good time.
“I’m scared I’ll get math and I don’t want math,” screams actress Meltem Kaptan. Her mother was a teacher at her own elementary school, of all places. Kaptan explains, “I was very stubborn and didn’t want to be told anything.” , who knows what, who knows nothing and who doesn’t know at all,” moderator Pilawa threatened at the start of the show.
Meltem Kaptan doesn’t know much. “I have a board in front of my head. I’m out!” She’s supposed to solve simple math problems and she’s desperate. She has to calculate 12 hours times 60 minutes and comes up with 180 minutes. It should subtract 1.35 minutes from 37.24 minutes. She is supposed to calculate how long it takes someone traveling at four kilometers per hour to travel 14 kilometers. She does not come to 35.49 minutes and 3.5 hours. Kaptan is visibly overwhelmed. “I was always one of those students who said I would get an F and then got a B,” says Kaptan. This time there is a four.
“There has to be a complete idiot and that’s me,” admits Claudia Effenberg before even asking a question. Instead, she briefly introduces herself. “I design beautiful clothes and I’m extremely good at cooking, which is why I usually come out first on cooking shows,” she says. “That was catastrophic,” Rector Meisenzahl from Lower Franconia soon evaluates Effenberg’s performance in the German exam. She had believed that there were five cases in German, one of them was spelled “acoussative” and only managed to put the four cases in the correct order on the fifth try.
Then she considers the word “overflow” to be a genitive and the word “restless” to be a dative. Stefan Effenberg, who sits in the audience, joked that he would give his wife “to the home” if she didn’t bring two. In the subsequent history lesson on Roman numerals, Ms. Effenberg is also a failure. In the final certificate, she gets the average grade four with a lot of benevolence and is happy: Effenberg’s transfer to other shows is apparently not at risk.
The original of this post “”There must be a complete idiot, and that’s me”” comes from Bunte.de.