the head of The SonntagsBlick magazine contacted me last week to ask me if I have something to question “what could the French-speaking Swiss still good?” write. There was in the West of Switzerland in the last few weeks, several articles and a “infra-Rouge”show (this is our “Arena”, where the politicians fall into the word, and of your piece of paper ablesend do so, as you would not be reading a piece of paper). He warned me: “look, our readers are familiar with this debate.” Is a good thing, because prior to his E-Mail, I did not know you also.

to be completely honest: When we ask Welschen us, what we are still good, that is not a very good sign. I would therefore prefer, if you wouldn’t you ask this question, because I’m afraid that the answer is: not much.

The Greeks of Switzerland

Roger Köppel has called us, the Greeks of Switzerland. We would rather celebrate and seduce as work. He wanted to insult us, without a doubt, but we took it as a compliment. Me personally, Santorini irritates more than Bümpliz.

as far as I understand it, there were two events, which have this debate initiated. But I’m not quite sure if that’s true, but if you’d expect a serious answer, and an apt analysis, I would not have asked me.

West of the Swiss shooting star

Thomas Wiesel (30) is the flagship of a new Generation of Satirikern in the Romandie. He is regularly seen in the Western Swiss television and listen to again and again in satire, broadcasts on French Radio. With his cynical Humor, which is strongly inspired by Anglo-Saxon Comedians like John Oliver or Jon Stewart, he appears in France, Belgium and Canada. Currently, he is touring with his Show, “Ça va.” through the Western part of Switzerland.

So, two events. First of all, The new chief of the army can not speak French and does not understand it. He has promised to learn it (but he has also promised a new combat aircraft, whether or not he does it is anything other than safe).

Secondly, the successor to SBB chief Andreas Meyer must speak no French (NB. d. Red.: VIEW reported). The result: panic in the Romandie! So, no, not really, but “infra-Rouge” has a shipment per week, and need a topic. I would have suggested the following: “Can Petkovic in the last ten minutes of the game with eleven players on the goal line?”, but so be it … (This joke was a lot funnier than I wrote him to cram on the Morning before the Match against Ireland, where Switzerland scored in the last ten minutes a goal – only to have me shut me up).

Is not it really bad to understand the SBB-CEO?

I’d find a CEO of the SBB, funny, speaks less languages than any of his checkers. It is not really so bad, if we understand anything of the railway-CEO says? Andreas Meyer speaks perfect French, and we are not hung straight on the lips. Clearly we are glad that Roger Federer from time to time something in French, because we are interested in what he told. Andreas Meyer on the other hand could explain to us also in Bulgarian, why he considers that, despite a number of scandals in the SBB his reward of a Million per year is justified – it would not matter to us.

And the chief of the army, speaks only English? If he should turn to, really, one day, to us, would we take the trouble to understand him. If your wearing a gun on your belt, makes you progress quickly. And there are also positive sides. In the case of war, we do not understand the mobilization order – a good excuse to be late to the Front to arrive.

Guy Parmelin speaks no English and hardly any French

so It needs no knowledge of French to be able to important Posts in the German part of Switzerland occupy. To be honest, it needs no knowledge of German, in the West of Switzerland careers. The exceptions are Items the Federal government (except for one Guy Parmelin is, in him, we would be happy, he would master his mother language).

Sure, in the ads it has been said: knowledge of German is required. But that is a lie, the French-speaking employer speaks no English and can’t check it at all.

we don’t have by the way, on the two sides of the rösti ditch together, we like to speak high German. Therefore, we often resort to English to communicate with German speaking Swiss. Swiss to use as a neutral ground in a foreign language: you have to admit that this is funny.

It is perhaps not ideal that you speak well French, but it leads to entertaining situations, such as the memorable speech of Johann Schneider-Ammann on the day of the sick, or the Logo #TeamFDP (where FDP is French for fils de pute, and describes, that the mother of the mentioned Person engaged in the oldest of all trades). These two communication own goals, we will laugh for years to come.

applesauce and work

I heard complaining to a journalist that Zurich would not know the Romandie at all, and each to be enchanted, if you are travelling for the first Time to Lausanne or Geneva. Because of this, Shhh! Tells you nothing, it is already complicated enough to find an apartment.

What if Switzerland is so good, because we all keep a little distance from each other? Me Belgian friends ausfragten after a language dispute in Switzerland, I replied, We understand each other well, because we never see each other. In the case of a Couple that doesn’t work, in the case of a country already. Four languages, four regions, all that remains, and the country quiet. You can’t argue with anyone who is there.

her remains a curiosity, you who is always talking about work, everywhere, potatoes and applesauce to mixing, in each Canton a language other speak, and often the opposite of us vote. And we deliver welschen you reliable, two Federal councillors, from time to time, an Olympic medal or a Miss Switzerland, and thanks to our party mood, and the routine you can feel superior to you.

And sometimes we serve to fill in the sonntagsblick magazine, the columns, which symbolized alone this country: I have to write the Text in French, him four days before publication to deliver, so that it can be translated. Three and a half days to find someone to translate the Text in three hours, into German.

dear neighbours, I’m not sure if you need us. But I hope you noticed the us and, therefore, excludes. We want to become a second Liechtenstein.

As it says but Cyrano de Bergerac in the famous novel by Edmond Rostand: “It is much more beautiful when it is useless.”
you have not necessary to us, and that is exactly why we are indispensable.

click Here for the original French text by Thomas Wiesel, “Vous n’avez pas besoin de nous”.