Dr. Rania was at a virtual religion seminar this Ramadan, when the discussion turned to an unexpected question. Is it permissible to pray for someone who has committed suicide?
As director of the Muslim Mental Health & Islamic Psychology Lab, Stanford University, Awaad is well-versed in suicide. However, she believes that it is a delicate and complex topic that is not discussed enough in U.S. Muslim communities. She said that even though suicide is a common topic, many people don’t understand it and are surrounded by misconceptions.
Awaad, along with other mental health professionals, are working together to change that. They work alongside faith leaders and activists to bring nuance to such conversations, raise awareness among Muslim communities about suicide prevention, mental health, and offer religiously and culturally sensitive guidance.
After an April murder-suicide in Allen, Texas that left six relatives dead, the urgency of the task was increased. This shocked the Muslim communities throughout the region and beyond. Investigators believe that two brothers made a deal to kill their grandmother, parents and sister before they took their own lives.
This incident sparked a lot of activity in Muslim spaces. There were public discussions about mental health, suicide response training, healing circles, and private conversations.
“The community’s initial reaction was shock,” stated Imam Abdul Rahman Bashir of Allen’s Islamic Association, where the funeral was held. “Their reactions ranged from shock to grief to concern for other families: Could they be saying something they don’t understand?” Are there things out there they don’t see?
He said, “It certainly opened up the discussion for understanding mental health and the importance mental well-being.”
Suicide is a prohibited theologically in Islam. Awaad acknowledges that but takes a more nuanced approach to the matter, saying that people shouldn’t judge. Contrary to what some people believe about suicide, Awaad believes that the deceased may be able to receive prayers no matter how they die.
She said, “We don’t know what a person is like at this time in their lives. And we don’t know what their mental state is in that moment.” “… Only God can decide on this.”
In a recent video, the Texas Muslim Women’s Foundation stressed that it is important to seek professional help for mental disorders. It was directed at South Asian American communities and featured actors, young activists, and others sharing their stories to break down the stigma.
According to Saadia Ahmed (director of the foundation’s youth leadership programme), some community leaders in Texas dealt with suicide and mental health after a Muslim American woman committed suicide in 2018. She’s received many messages from people following the Allen tragedy. They have asked how they can get help for their loved ones or shared their own struggles.
One young man shared his story about suicidal thoughts in the past and how getting help helped. A high school student needed therapy, but her parents were not providing it. With the help of a school counselor she was able to get help. Ahmed also heard from concerned parents.
Ahmed stated, “I feel like at the least I see progress.”
Sameera Ahmed — not related — a psychologist and executive vice-president of The Family & Youth Institute (a non-profit research and education institution), said that some people questioned her group’s ability to develop suicide prevention resources for Muslim communities a few decades ago.
Ahmed stated that people wouldn’t tell others what was going on because they were afraid of stigma. “They were afraid that people wouldn’t attend their loved one’s janazah,” (or funeral).
She is now more open to dialogue and believes that some prominent imams are beginning to approach the issue with a more compassionate perspective. She added that there is still much to be done.
Awaad offered virtual trainings on suicide prevention from her California base to help others navigate the aftermath of the Allen tragedy. Her Stanford lab provided guidelines for Islamic sermons.
She said that the most difficult part of crisis management is “the crisis response.” Many religious leaders and imams struggle to find the right balance between helping the community and defending Islam’s position on suicide.
Co-authored another piece on do’s and dont’s following a suicide. This included providing support and resources to people who are struggling. She did not speculate on the spiritual implications of someone taking their own life.
Awaad hopes that 500 Muslim religious leaders will receive training in suicide prevention by 2022. This was done in collaboration with Maristan’s Stanford lab. The material is based in science and the teachings Islam.
Many religious leaders have supported the effort.
Imam Bashir of the Islamic Association of Allen said that although Islam does not allow suicide to solve problems it encourages people to “be one body with ears and eyes to help each other.”
Muslims are not the only ones who struggle with difficult questions about suicide. Mathew Schmalz is a professor of religious Studies at the College of the Holy Cross, Massachusetts. He said that one belief shared by theistic traditions was that one’s entire life belongs to God. Therefore, taking it “fundamentally violates God’s most precious gift.”
He said that attitudes are changing with greater awareness of the complexities and challenges of mental illness. It’s important not to believe suicide is a sign of weakness morally or failure to be thankful to God.
Schmalz stated that while understanding God as merciful was important, it is equally important to be part of a faith community where mental health issues can be taken seriously and not stigmatized.
