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Another week, another warning from NASA about an impending barrage of space debris, with no less than five asteroids expected to buzz the Earth’s backyard by Thursday.

To kick things off, 2020 RV2, measuring roughly half the height of the Arc de Triomphe in Paris, or roughly 25 meters in diameter, will pass us by at a safe 5.69 million km.

Next, on October 6, will be 2020 RR2, measuring 26 meters in diameter or… slightly larger than half the famous French landmark, which will sail past at a safe flyby distance of 6.2 million km.

On Wednesday, the largest of the cosmic quintet of space rocks, the 46-meter (half the height of the Statue of Liberty) 2020 RK2 will roar past at 3.8 million km.

The very same day, with a diameter roughly seven times as tall as Shaquille O’Neal (15m) 2019 SB6 will shoot past at 4.5 million km.

Last but not least, the equally half-Arc de Triomphe-sized (25-meter) 2020 SR6 will fly past the Earth at 2.7 million km on October 8.

Unsurprisingly, given the ongoing grim state of affairs besetting the people of planet Earth on all sides, asteroids have now begun to feature heavily in the gallows humor online.

People are pitching movie ideas about asteroids, borrowing heavily from previously successful titles but with an absurd twist befitting this truly bemusing year.

Film idea: A giant asteroid is heading towards the earth so the President assembles a crack team of economists who explain why doing anything about it could cause a recession.

Meanwhile, UFC President Dana White referred to a cursed match between Lightweight Behemoth Khabib Nurmagomedov and pretender to the throne Tony Ferguson, which has failed to materialize half a dozen times at this stage, as potentially triggering an asteroid strike, such is the madness of 2020.

A harmless asteroid is even set to pass Earth just in time for the US election as space rocks continue to find their way into news headlines. Some are relishing the prospect of enjoying one last Christmas dinner before a, by now, seemingly inevitable asteroid strike to finish off this cursed calendar year.

the rightful end to 2020 is trump dies of covid, and then whoever these undecided people are decide that pence is better than trump, and vote him in. we spend lots of time fretting about it and then an asteroid hits us all right before i get to eat my last christmas dinner.

Thankfully, there’s no immediate danger from outer space right now, just a plethora of potential doom down here on Earth.

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