I Admit, a little jarred when the cruise company gave me a contract for the upcoming trip, called the “agreement on implementation of tourist product”. Decided not to pay attention to this: no matter what my stay is a product. And typed this lengthy formal document such the small print it Turned out that on the boat, some provisions, including the restaurant menu and served in that hard-to-read format. The young sailor explained to me that these things probably in order to save paper. Maybe he’s right: we have to remind you, the economy must be economical. Especially with the implementation of the tourism product. The more that I have on hand the ticket to a better cabin. Many rooms even has a name. Such personal apartments on the ship only two. Before proceeding to the description of the trip, I would note that at the end of the publication you will be sensation. And yet be patient.
Notice? I will not mention company names, the ship, the same cabins. I’m not going to name names of those in charge of data tourism product. Although the documents, names, positions are the place to be. Just dropped my share of the tourist product is no exception. Note also: on our boat nice, intelligent captain, an attentive crew, from the sailors to the waiters, cleaners. Further about the product.
As the theater begins with a hanger, so tourism product starts from the Marina, with the entrance on the ship. The Treaty has provided everything in advance. We, the passengers, he calls in the best case the “customer”, but most “persons”. And “persons” should know that “the ship, cabins, gangways, piers are not suitable for the movement thereon of persons with dysfunctions of the musculoskeletal system”. But why all persons without disabilities persons who reckon themselves to be passengers, shall go on and on with things to the desired ramp at the entrance to the ship? Why is staying on indefinitely to repair the North river station of the capital, and most marinas there are no conditions for the entrance, especially the Parking lot? This inconvenience did not appear now. I admit, I am a veteran of such trips. And this problem remained. Before the start of the cruise (sorry, tourist product) I asked the officer it information services: it is possible to drive to the pier. Here is the answer: “You will go by taxi. Taxi drivers there agree. They know.” Comments needed? Sad to see upon arrival in Moscow in the same Northern river port passengers of different ages drag their Luggage coupled with acquired in the same favorite Mishkin smoked fish. With whom, on what terms you can negotiate the entrance to the Wharf? Why is the destiny of some elected officials?
As I recall, the best cabin. Registered. Suite. You can say two. And even the bathroom. My mourners growth is not gigantic��go, but immediately came into contact with a lamp on the ceiling. The lamps are elegant, but very low ceilings. Large sofa, two large armchairs. Antediluvian refrigerator, which from time to time have stopped working, and, as recommended, it is necessary to shake, and he was again involved. Two large wardrobes. But before to use them, we had to find a place for suitcase. Search failed: shelter for suitcase in Suite no. Meanwhile, the Suite is designed for “two faces”. So there could be two cases. And here is one – not the greatest – could not be attached. Therefore he placed it on the junction of the sofa in a chair. Lux began to lose its pripadnost. But the situation requires. And it’s time to go move the clothes from the suitcase in the closet.
Cabinets, as said, two. Impressive. There are “hangers” for clothes. However, place the dress pants and does the impossible: interfere with the shelves. But… not going to waste time on trifles, especially in our time, wrinkled clothes – dresses, pants with acceptable. But suitable pieces, and some pieces, like the bits of soap in the bathroom. The lack of an accepted set, including toothpaste, absence of at least some fixtures for towels… “Nowhere to put the towel? – surprised maid. – Now we’ll think of something”.
In the cabin there was a man with a hook in two minutes introduced this hook into the wall of the bathroom. Only one hook. But thanks for that. Not to throw the same towel on the floor. Especially that bed linen is changed once on arrival to Kazan.
And again about the bathroom, as the saying goes, give details. And they are. Is because in my personal cabin and a Hairdryer. Specially did not check, but judging by the information, the only one in the three-deck boat. And the day came when the dryer needed. But… can’t find the socket to enable it. In my Suite with sockets problem: one is connected to the refrigerator (the socket somewhere behind him). And the other around the table in the so-called living room, and posted for some reason, almost on the floor near the baseboards. There connect the charger. There is then a cord from the courtesy of me (as an exception) the electric kettle. But dry, comb the hair will agree, not very comfortable where the Cup and saucer. The maid surprised asked: “How is no outlet in the bathroom?! There!” Really is. But for some reason, almost on the ceiling. The cord from the Hairdryer to it is lacking. And I am compelled to include a Hairdryer in the outlet near the floor. For me it scolded: “you Could say. We would bring you an extension cord”. A young teacher who joined the cruise in Kazan, and at all was indignant: “in the Summer the dryer is not needed. Hair without it dry.” Doesn’t know that a Hairdryer not only for drying but also for styling?
Impress not do these “little things” tourist life, and the attitude of many individuals “tourist ��product” to them. The same teacher says. She travels with her parents. Family from afar. They have a downstairs cabin without window, with window. “Double shares,” she says. What do you mean with shared? This means that there are but two narrow beds, even put a cot where it alternately sleeps, her father. The story the teacher ends up with a categorical statement: “I am very comfortable”.
Here will allow you to return to the issue of the economy, which should be economical. On the ship three meals a day. Lunch and dinner ordered the previous day. Choice minimum: two second and two first. Food good. Served beautifully. Anyway, in the restaurant, again inscribed on our deck where the best cabins. But the portion size within the economical savings. For Breakfast a Cup of tea or coffee from a bag accompanied by two lumps of sugar laid on a saucer. And one piece of cheese sliced so thin that it’s transparent. Slices – that’s slices of watermelon – involuntarily remind him of watermelon, Apple cores. Fresh vegetables, fruits – by. The neighbors at the table joked that we end “tourism product” will make friends with the rabbits: salads are mostly made from cabbage, carrots, beets past harvests.
Remember the so-called “Russian dinner”. From ordinary it is distinguished by the fact that you could order half a tiny glass of vodka. Played the accordion, dressed up waiters (serving us, the girl removed the headdress: “The very head itches”). In addition to the ordered portions in honour of the “Russian dinner” on tables exhibited a small shared for all meals with a tiny slices of a herring and very careful about the size of a walnut with kruglyashi potatoes. The neighbor on the table suggested that we could have cooked mashed potatoes, and from it dashed these kruglyashi. And all anything, but the dish overall use of dictated to all of us overall enjoyment of this delicacy. Tourist product any virus is not terrible! Neither the masks nor the distance of at least half a meter of the question. And I do not understand why before boarding the ship cute girls sitting at the Marina made at the table, interviewing the passengers on the subject СOVID. And my official certificate – or rather had received the test result – they were not interested.
And still we had accidents. It’s just that it is a sin not to tell. At Breakfast, people asked: “You not flooded?” Did not realize what they are. They have a Junior cabin next to my full Suite. Uncomfortable, cramped. That morning the inhabitants discovered that the bathroom went down the drain and in the cabin there are works on elimination of the accident. Once lightly treated me to this information. The ship came to Kazan. Stood on the deck, admiring the panorama of this magnificent city. Then I saw that both doors of my it��about the Suite opened, and in the Suite by an unknown man. A bathroom is full of water. And on the dock – the boat – tow truck. And almost all of the time spent in Kazan was “the elimination of break of the sewer.” Eliminated. We are no longer flooded. But at the bottom, the floods happened.
Different fix occurred at different times. The feeling of constant repair, Troubleshooting of any problems. Sailors, by the way, their monthly salary 22 200 rubles, I was told that warned the ship to cruise not ready. But apparently, one thing the tourist cruise. A very different tourism product. It dictates its own conditions, its own rules. Some sin not to tell. Passengers awarded the order of the day. And that’s good. But when I know that Breakfast is at six thirty in the morning… I asked the cruise Director: “Why not three in the morning? Why is it not considered with the tourists?” My irony is unnecessary, it is not perceived. I firmly explain: “we are not the resort! So by the time. So convenient!”. Who composed the schedule? Who is convenient? We’re not wining! We are promised tourist centres.
the schedule to say it is necessary. In an old, millions of Nizhny Novgorod, for example, the ship is four hours. And in Gorodets, about a hundred kilometers away, six. When the ship goes from Moscow to Kazan, he stops in Nizhny Novgorod, Yaroslavl. And when going from Kazan to Moscow, then these marvelous centers of national culture of Parking does not. And passengers whose cruise from Kazan to Moscow, does not see these pearls of the Volga. But before coming to Moscow five hours boat is in pine woods. Here the so-called Green Parking and barbecue for their money. The cruise Director considers it normal. Explains that fuel is expensive. And even more expensive price themselves sites. Just kills me that some people think is just weird, if the cruise will have to visit twice in the same cities. Better not go there. One lady with a beautifully laid gray hair said that “last year the ship on which it was resting, to Nizhny Novgorod did not come. He stood in Gorodets. For lovers of the city the bus came. I took it to the Bottom and then back to the ship.” Turns out I was lucky.
On the ship is always time for “the sale of tickets for optional excursions”, holding a “Master – class “folk doll Nanny” for a hundred rubles, etc. But the time to at least apologize for the breakthroughs of sewage in our cabin was not. The cruise Director believes that the blame for the accident themselves, the passengers, sorry, faces. Quote: “Throw in the toilet who knows what.”
Every information about the coming day accompanied by edifying maxims. For example, such: “a Person’s debark happy three things: love, interesting work and the opportunity to travel. The trip on the ship exciting more than a lottery ticket. And you know why? Because you will surely win”. So I think, specifically, I win? The other passengers on the winnings? The answer to this question now, when many other places of recreation suddenly became not available, as relevant as ever.
At the end of the cruise we were handed a questionnaire. Asked to answer the questions of whether the price quality. To assess the overall condition of the ship, the cabins, the size of the portions in the restaurant, the cruise Director and so on. We are asked if we will return to this ship? And wish: until we meet again.
And now I ask you: are you sitting or standing? Suggest to sit down, because will announce the promised sensation. So, please: my “tourist product” is 24 thousand rubles per day. Until we meet again?..
