German politicians are currently conducting a competition for the best energy-saving tips. Winfried Kretschmann even pointed out that washcloths are “a useful invention”. Recommendations will not stop there. What’s in store for us?

Well, the chancellor isn’t taking part in the competition for the best energy-saving tips from politicians. “Nope,” answered Olaf Scholz (SPD) in monosyllables when asked whether he, like his Vice Chancellor Robert Habeck (Greens), could offer advice on saving electricity and heat.

But maybe Scholz couldn’t or didn’t want to remember – even on this topic – what he’s doing. Habeck has apparently triggered a competition, which one could recommend to the citizens.

Now save articles for later in “Pocket”.

His party friend, Berlin’s environment senator Bettina Jarasch, has already joined Robert Habeck in the shower, at least verbally. “I only wash my cat in the morning,” she confessed, meaning showers that are as short as possible.

Showering is more of a modern invention. The Green Winfried Kretschmann, a successful state grandfather in Baden-Württemberg, also reminded of grandma’s times. You don’t have to shower all the time, he pointed out.

“Even the washcloth is a useful invention.” Some baby boomers may have had childhood memories when the mother used the washcloth to thoroughly clean the little ones from top to bottom. That was, the author recalls, a very clean affair.

So far, politicians have completely neglected the bathtub, which holds a lot of warm water, because of all the recommendations for showering. You can also save money there if – which was not unusual in earlier times – the whole family used it one after the other to clean themselves.

That started with the little ones. As the degree of pollution increased, mother and father’s hour followed. From this point of view, the washcloth is the better alternative – from a hygienic and energetic point of view.

Speaking of community experiences with water and heat: Schleswig-Holstein’s Prime Minister Daniel Günther is considered a green black man. It is therefore no surprise that the CDU politician also excels with savings tips.

“I do think that certain wellness offers this year are part of the kind of luxury that one should voluntarily do without,” Günther told the “Welt am Sonntag”. “You don’t necessarily have to go to the sauna in the coming winter.”

After all, hoteliers with their own spa and operators of wellness temples can breathe a sigh of relief. In any case, Schleswig-Holstein does not want to impose legal requirements on the companies, Günther assured. Did he think “not yet”? Quite possible.

So far, politicians have only given good advice. This also includes Kretschmann’s advice, “We usually only heat one room”. Only: It certainly doesn’t stop with the recommendations. A whole catalog of bans from the federal government is to be expected in the near future.

Then private pools can no longer be heated with gas or electricity from the grid, shop doors can no longer remain open and neon signs must remain switched off between 10 p.m. and 6 a.m. Dark times are upon us.

Of course, what use are bans if they are not controlled? Perhaps in the not-too-distant future we’ll long for flannel advice à la Kretschmann.

If the traffic light government wants to enforce the bans proposed by Habeck, we urgently need specialists, more precisely: savings bid control specialists, who in Berlin jargon will probably be called “saving bid control specialists”. What Annalena Baerbock will take care of.

A lot of work awaits these inspectors. Whether the outdoor advertising is still lit at night can be seen in passing. But whether and how the private pool in the basement is heated requires on-site inspections.

That then becomes a job for state-certified pool water temperature testers. Wouldn’t it be logical to have these specialists look at the sauna in the basement or in the garden shed, if there is one. Will these power guzzlers soon be brought up to operating temperature? Everything is possible – or possibly forbidden.

We don’t want to paint the devil on the wall, but anyone who sees a danger to the energy supply in “advertising structures” will not stop at other kinds of bright lights. Christmas is four months away.

And no green politician has yet publicly thought about how beautiful the festival could be without fairy lights and illuminated poinsettias.

Winfried Kretschmann can certainly still remember what it was like when only a few wax candles were burning on the Christmas tree and nobody had the idea of ​​putting a blinking Santa Claus on the bungalow roof.

Well, there’s still some time until Christmas Eve. But the Christmas lights on the streets and squares and on houses shine by the beginning of November at the latest. So it is high time that we heard warnings from politicians about this. And start the training of “light chain controllers: inside (m/f/d) in good time. After all, we have no other worries – at least almost none.