This time, Leo did not lack a. And I draw on the wall with my markers. And I throw the pieces of the puzzle by the window. And I break and I tear, and I drop everything I can get my hands on. Without forgetting to contravene any end of the field to the requirements of parenting ! Not always easy to keep his calm and make him listen to reason. Shout him over so that he understands that it is not, that it is not necessary, that it should not ? Punish it by putting it in the corner, depriving him of his good pleasures ? “There can be no education without penalty, but there may be an education without punishment. “Gilles-Marie Valet, child psychiatrist
first and foremost, it is fundamental to make the distinction between punishment and sanction. The child psychiatrist Gilles-Marie Valet, ” to punish, it’s just “do harm” to the child so that he understands and remembers that his acts or his words were not adapted, in relation to the parent. The sanction, it aims to seize the child how he might have done differently, to encourage them to continue in such or such action or, on the contrary, to dissuade him from continuing to act or speak as he does “. Unlike punishment, moreover, the sanction – in the sense of approve, ratify – is a good as a bad behavior.
But any “stupidity” is not to be sanctioned : a precious trinket is broken due to clumsiness ? The parent will then be on its own responsibility, to have left this subject to the reach of the child. Or is this a real stupidity, preceded by an intention ? “The sanction is to be established in function of what is at stake. There can be no education without penalty, but there may be an education without punishment, ” said Mr. Butler, for whom the notion of punishment implies the idea of reparation.
to Repair his stupidity
The punishment must enable the child to repair his stupidity – in this case, it’s going to pick up the pieces of the trinket, or help to stick them together. If he has deliberately broken the toy to his little sister, he will be invited to offer one of his toys to the one he has injured.
If all the silly mistakes are not repairable, they are at least symbolically. “That is negative in the punishment – and that would be to hit it, put it in the corner, deny it – is that she is glad to mortify the child,” said Mr. Jack.
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If the child runs on slippery ground, if it lies or, if he does not share, for example, it is the parent of the call to order and invite him to adopt the conduct is adapted. It helps to develop their sense of responsibility.
He turned a deaf ear to the recommendations ? It is important to impose sanctions, recommend the author to obey without (necessarily) punishing ! (Larousse, 2013), so that it can integrate a number of values, of human values, in the sense that they are necessary to grow, such as health, confidence, or even the spirit of family. A sanction is only useful if it makes sense.